Because I bounced a bunch of checks yesterday.
In Bethesda I talked such a good game about pacing myself, how it's ok to rest, and learning to set my activity expectations at a more realistic level for my current condition. It all went to heck in a hand basket when I got home. Yesterday I finally got the message loud and clear. I am an utter and complete failure at pacing myself. Is anyone out there but me SHOCKED?? Yeah, I didn't think so...
In my defense, I never realized that baking muffins (sugar free of course) would be so exhausting. Or doing and folding laundry. Or walking around the block. Or balancing the checkbook. Or taking out the recyclables. Or trying to do all that plus in one day...with no nap...It still just doesn't occur to me that doing low activity things will wipe me out and I need to take breaks during the day so that I don't end up flat on my back comatose and feeling like I got hit by a bus.
I suppose something can be said for not expecting oneself to have limitations, but a case could also be made that not doing so is delusional. I need to find a happy medium. I have never been a happy medium person, so this is new territory for me. Today my priority is exploration of that new territory. I'm going to concentrate on it. And tomorrow and the next day I will concentrate on it. I will have to concentrate on not overdrawing my energy checking account until it comes naturally. Will it ever come naturally? Who knows. I may fall into bad habits again when this Cushing's ordeal is over purely because I can. But I have to believe that a lesson is indeed learned here somewhere and it may be the most valuable one of all.
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