A few have asked if the couple of pics I have of me on the blog are current. Indeed they are not. Not at all. There hasn't been a picture of me taken since last December when, in the preliminary throes of Cushing's symptom development (although I didn't know it at the time), I succumbed under protest to the annual picture being taken for the Holiday card. Actually, in the name of full disclosure, the photographer at the NIH in Bethesda did a whole photo shoot with me to document my condition and accompany my medical records in the Cushing's research study of which I'm a part. But needless to say, those pictures will NOT be used in this year's Holiday missive. Although I suppose it's as close as I'll get in my life to a Playboy pictorial...oh, sorry...those of you who drink may commence now to get that vision out of your mind...
In my mind, I currently look like a cross between Jabba-the-Hut and Shrek. Not green, not drooly, but definitely in the body shape and form department. My adorable husband disagrees with this analogy, and yet it's my blog and I'll say what I want to! Anyhoo, one of the things Cushing's brings with it is fat build up in the torso, upper body and face, and distention of the stomach that makes me look like I swallowed the basketball instead of taking an 8-foot jumper with it. As if that wasn't enough to send me running from any camera lens (plus mirrors, windows, and shiny reflective objects...) my hair has fallen out several times. And not in a good way. It comes out in patches all over my head. And just when it starts growing back, another wave of random balding rolls in. Send hair growth vibes because at this moment we are on a growth upswing and nothing much to speak of is falling out! Yee-ha!
I do not consider myself a vain person. I certainly have never gotten by on my looks. But when you look in the mirror and you see someone staring back at you that you don't recognize, it hits you hard. I am surprised at how it has effected me. The biggest thing I am looking forward to when we get my Cushing's under control is my face and body going back to my own face and body! Who knew when we started this whole thing that would even rate on the priority list at all? I certainly didn't. Then you all will be bombarded with pictures. I don't know when that will be, but it will be. So if this year's holiday card includes a picture of a random stranger, or of the pups and Keith without me, chalk it up to my vanity...that and no one needs a holiday card from Jabba or Shrek this year!
GO GIANTS!
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