That's the name of the game for the next 3 days here at Chez Nunes-Davis. And no, I'm not using the word "cleaning" as a metaphor for life, health or some medical thing. My house if FILTHY, and it's time to banish the grime.
I'm not a neatnik. Anyone who knows me knows that. My OCD never translated into cleanliness. Not that I'm usually a cesspool dweller either, but a layer of dust on pictures hanging in the hallway doesn't, as a rule, send me running for the Clorox wipes. But every three or four months, I'll get a bug up my heine about cleaning and attack the grime with all the tools available in the cleaning aisle at Target. The fresh smell of sterile success sustains me for another 3 or 4 months until the bug strikes again. Sadly, over the last year or so, those bouts of cleaning took a back seat to trying to survive and maintain during my fight with Cushings. The collateral damage ended up being the internal health of our home. It's DIRTY in here!
And why does this matter now? Because on Wednesday, just 3 short days from now, I'm having my left hip replaced. For those of you who did not follow this adventure two short years ago when I had my right hip replaced, the recovery process includes a bevy of staples holding the ginormous incision in my ass closed, the dressing on which has to be changed multiple times a day by my faithful nurse Keith (and he looks so cute in the outfit!). Doing this, and recovering in general, in an environment of filth, flying dust and dog hair, is not the most responsible way to handle my recovery. So I clean.
If anyone can tell me how to get a dog to use a Clorox wipe, please let me know. I figure if a husband can learn to use a vacuum cleaner, a dog must have the ability to wipe down the baseboards! Am I right? Sadly Alvin is blaming his lack of cooperation on the whole "I don't have opposable thumbs" thing. Lame excuse. Totally overcomable. Erin is above all this home maintenance. She just harrumphs at the possibility of participating and goes outside and lays in her hole. So I clean.
The good news is that the house is getting a much needed shine and sparkle. The bad news is that my hip really hurts! But the good news is that I'm getting it replaced in a few days. Did I mention that? So think of me spritzing, wiping, vacuuming, and scrubbing for the next couple of days. And then the mental picture can move on to revolving around the staples in my ass. It'll take more than a few drinks to get that out of your mind...my work here is done....
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