As I may have mentioned, I spend alot of time at the gym. Because I still have so far to go to get back to where I was before Cushing's I don't really focus much on how far I've come. But today I did.
I put on a pair of workout shorts that I haven't worn in a year and was quite happy about just that. But then I noticed that I had some noticeable quad muscle going on! I find it a little ironic that my quads are the first muscle that I find re-emerging when I still have SUCH problems getting down on the floor and back up again with those quads. Think turtle on it's back, and you've got the picture. Oh well, I guess my ability to kneel down and rise will come back when I least expect it too. Be that as it may, quads I now have...again...
I did one of my usual workouts today, heavy on the physical therapy exercises and weight lifting with cardio as warm up and cool down. Yes it's hard, yes it hurts. But I'm getting back to that point where the feeling of accomplishment overrides everything else. That's one of the things that Cushing's took from me - the ability to do things that gave me a feeling of accomplishment. Of worthiness. Of enjoyment. Thanks to Muffy and alot of hard work, I'm getting it back.
Maybe soon I'll post a current picture of myself on this blog. I'm almost to the point where I'd accept being photographed. I know that I've learned that whatever I can do, whatever I can be is good enough. This last year is a testament to that. But I'm just not quite there yet in my heart. I just don't feel normal yet. I don't feel like my old self yet. If I wait until then we may never see a current picture of me so I'll work on that.
Everyone go forth and accomplish something in my honor. It really feels good!!
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