What's in a size?

You might think, from reading this blog over the past few weeks, that I am obsessed with what size I am.  I suppose that's true, but probably not for the reasons you think.

Getting back to a familiar size to me, whether it's a 12 or a 10, is just another step in my journey to get back to normal.  I can wear my clothes again, my body looks like my body again.  I'd love to be a skinny-mini, but I stopped aspiring to that a long time ago.  Genetically that's not in my cards, and I like to eat.  Might as well let go of the dream of being a size 6 - it ain't never going to happen.  I just wanted to get back to where I was before Cushings.  I was a 10, but a 12 will do for now. 

I used to think that 12 was chunky.  I always wanted to be smaller.  If I could just lose a few more pounds.  But boy has my outlook changed.  12 is awesome!  12 is run naked through the grocery store awesome!  Clothes fit.  I'm not constantly pulling on something to get it not to cling on something else that's bigger than it should be.  As I started gaining weight at the beginning of my Cushing's saga, I bought some size 12's that I've now shrunken back into.  It's like having new clothes! 

Let's be honest though.  Clothes are important, even necessary, but not the beat all end all judge of how healthy and fabulous you are.  Aside from my screaming joints and muscles, I feel good.  Almost normal.  I can workout and get my chores and errands done.  My weight and size really is just a reflection of getting the Cushing's under control and being on the road to having my health back.  And, like I said, that's run through the grocery store naked awesome.

Bottom line is that while I have about 10 pounds left to lose to get to where I want my weight to be, I've already gotten to fabulous.  I've already gotten to normal.  I've already gotten to me.