I decided to mix it up a little bit last week and add a couple of new things into my workout routine. A couple of oldies but goodies that I haven't been back to for a while...
First on the list was revisiting Jenn's yoga class. Let's be clear - I am not a huge fan of yoga. Not because it isn't a really great workout, or because it isn't an incredibly valuable practice for any one's body and mind. I'm not a huge fan because it's HARD and I SUCK at it. Also, it used to be incredibly painful with hips that were rubbing bone on bone. But without that last excuse to hide behind, there is no reason not to get back at it for a pride destroying workout.
With my personal expectation bar set as low as it could possibly go, I unrolled my mat as close to the back of the room as I could get without actually becoming a part of the drywall. I thought I was bad before, but I've reached epic levels of badness. The good news is that if I keep at it, the muscles that won't lift me to or hold me in the positions will come back and be fabulous. The bad news is that I have to keep at it until then. But as long as I don't fall on anyone else in the class, or sweat every last drop of liquid out of my body in a huge puddle in Jenn's basement, I should be OK. That doesn't mean it's going to be a love fest - my relationship with yoga is troubled at best. Even during the classes last week with my expectations set as low as I thought I could, I had moments when I was on the verge of tears. How can I come back from being this far down? And why should I? It would be so much easier to just sit on the couch. Would anyone blame me? But then I'd snap out of it and remind myself that I want to get back to normal. I want to be a stud. I want to accomplish not settle. It's going to be a roller coaster, but I'll stick with it. There will be little victories along the way and those are what's going to get me through. I don't expect the zen of it all to kick in for quite a while, but I'll be waiting...
As if my pride didn't take enough of a beating trying to wrap my foot around my head in yoga class, I decided to do the one thing that took even more courage - do a swim workout...in a swimsuit...in public! We all know that swimming is one of the best workouts around. No impact, great cardio, great muscle workout, but there are a million reasons I can find not to do it. No more. I need to get back in the pool and that's just that. So I scrunched up my courage, put my body issues in the locker with my stuff, and went out to the pool at the gym with my goggles in hand. I tried not to feel like a sausage stuffed into a casing that was just a tad too small, or like a 100 year old woman when I looked at the college girls manning the lifeguard towers. If you're gonna do it, own it! And off I went.
I ended up swimming for an hour alternating regular freestyle, kicking only, paddling only, and more freestyle. It was a great workout and I did it. I also planned on following up with lunge walking in the shallow end, but that space was being used by several young Asian gentlemen in speedo's and swim caps splashing back and forth in what kind of could pass as swimming. Needless to say, I didn't want to disturb that. So I left the pool exhausted and a little noodle-y, but happy. Happy that I made the effort to do it. Happy that I didn't find an excuse not to go. Happy that I didn't drown.
Take it from me as you decide whether to go for that walk, bike ride, or maybe go to the gym. I know you can find a million reasons not to. God knows no one knows that better than me. I can even give you a few reasons you haven't even thought of yet. But do it anyway. You'll be happy you did afterwards knowing you didn't give up on yourself.
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